Cica,sleeping beauty & her rude awakening!!!

Alas, poor Cica... what a bone-shaker-skin-freezer awakening!!! It all happened few days ago, but Cica has found just now the inner force to contact me to tell her miserable tale!! In her own words... "I was...ehmm...sleeping, uh? I was just regeneratin' myself after my last super-meal and... in my drowsy, I keep hearin' som'thin' like: -Hmm...I think it's too fat...I think she's eating more than a dozen SanBernardo...- and another voice replyin' more or less: -Hmm! I think not! After all she burns a helluva lot of energy eating, ehmm!! So she's not fat...just perfectly round!!-Soon the voices in my head kept arguing more 'n' more: -She's fat!- - No, she's round!- - I tell you she resembles a puppy-walrus!!- - No, she's just fur and bones!!- ...and here, after these last words... I began to worry 'bout myself!!!... To make a long story short, my human pet decided to shave me off my fluent fur just to see if I was fat or not!!! Snàrrlll!!! I think I'll piss over her empty head just to see if something grows over that "No-intelligent-life-here,-Spock,-beam-me- up!" brainless skull!!!" This moving tale made me willing of bite ev'rythin' in sight... so I compelled my deranged human pet to make a suppletive pissy-business just to kick some tails out there and meditate some answers to give my Cica! Kickable tails I found none...but answers, those I found a lot!! So, first thing, I reassured Cica her fur shall be soon regrown in all her beauty, and then I told her to be patient, wait for the first time her deranged human makes her comeback home from the human coiffeur and then... jump on her head and scramble her expensive hair-do till she cries!!! It's a proved umbosoming-therapy that always works!! All in all, the human pet can only react yellin' 'n' posponin' yer meal-time but... for how long? In less than a few hours, she's just there, guilt-driven, caressin' and givin' you more food than yesterday!!! And, top of it all, she finally can see that you're absolutely fat-free!! You know what? Cica is now under training to jump higher 'n' higher... and she's eatin' more and better!! Her human pet, after Cica "hair-do destruction from the high" assault, enrolled her in a Gym center where she's met some iron-pumped dog to have some good time with!! And now, full of energy, she almost sleeps no more!! Ah! Another emergency case well resolved!! Awwwright! Aloooouuha and remember: if ya can't avoid the shavin'... make 'em pay in pain!!

WHY DON'T YA MOVE, F§ç[/N' STUPIDER BALL ?

Ah, ah!! Very very smart, oh my deranged human pet!!! This always happens during my pissy-business, when I innocently play with my toys and sometime I stop, lost in my thoughts! I'm a busy dog, right? I've a lot of patients out there and even I need some minutes to reconnect me with the world... so, again, I'M NOT WAITING FOR THE FOREVER-CURSED BALL TO ROLL ANYWHERE!!! I'm not so stupid, for Anubi and a ton of T-Rex bones!!! Since my human pet has bought a damned videophone, he's clickin' ev'ry breath of mine while smiling like a walrus after the teeth-washing!! Somebody buy him a human female to play with... possibly destroying meanwhile his photo-device or I'll do it by myself one of these days... and not before showing you some old clicks of him in very questionable poses!!! Ah! I'll just play with another toy for awhile... and now:back to work, my friends! Alooouuuha!!

Cica,sleeping beauty! part 2

Ehmm... You already know my friend Cica, don't ya? Ehmm... She's not always sleeping, I can assure you... Fact is that she's often too meal-fueled to spend time in other ways than sleeping while her body assimilate all the precious menù she... devour, èhmm!! But one day you all will see her in action and, dear Anubi, and learn a lot about her favourite theme: "Make-your-human-pet-a-perfect-gourmet!!" That said... let the sleeping beauty dream of new, sophisticated meals and let's bark later! Alooouha!!

The very strange case of Ulderico and his failed dates!

Ahhh... this has been my first case of the 2008 and really I had some initial difficulties to resolve it! Let me explain... My patient, Ulderico (very macho-dog name, uh?), e-mailed me lamenting an inexplicable series of failures in dating the pussydoggies in his neighbourhood! At first I simply told him to change the area of his pissy-business... but he explained me that he really couldn't have a decent date anywhere!! He assured me he had no scars on his face, no bad smelling and no bad behaviour at all... and no castration handicap, first of all!! Still he couldn't figure why, in the last ten months, each date with a bitchylady went like "Smell-me-and-then-say-goodbye-in-another-life-on-another-astral-plane-where-the-pappatacios-are-the-dominant-species!!!" He howled to me in such a sad tune that I could not resist to help him outside my studio! I decided to spy him on the next day, during his "hunt-for-dates" walk with his human female pet! All I noticed at first was a small numbers of quiproquo with some omosexual dogs owed to his previous name:Kenda, a real feminine name that only a very estranged human could choose for him (later I discovered that the human pet of Ulderico was a vegetarian one... and this explains ev'rything, uh? Like they say:no meat, no great! 'n that's all!!) and then I witnessed the hard-hitting reality: another doggielady approached Ulderico's butt just to suddenly walk the walk of no return as he turned back to smell her!! Unbelievable... considering that Ulderico is a nice piece of dog for his young age!! After three failed encounters I spied, I approached him to give the blackie some comfort and... lo!... I solved all the problem with just one look! All I had to say was just: "HEY, ROMEO!! PULL OUT THOSE SPOOKY EYE-LENSES OF YOURS OR START DATING NEAR SOME CEMETARIES,ùH?" and then he went: "DòH!!!" Vanity does not pay, dudes... remember this! In the end, Ulderico removed his silly eye-lenses and paid me all tail-shakin'!! Another case resolved... and another cash enriched my pocket!!Now I can buy those bone-made sunglasses très chic for my red hot dates... See ya soon... till then:AALOOOOHUA!!!