WHERE THE F^ç£ 'D I LEFT MY BONE ?

And so it's xmas, ùh? And ev'ryone's good 'n' all smiles 'n' happy, right? Well... I can level this but... the snow? I say:the f^ç%n white snow??? -and I'm not referring to the "yuppyyayè" powder some stupid humans, and some dogs, sniff like a pussybitch!- No!I mean the real snow... the icy water fallin' from the sky... the "thing" with which the humans play, or fall on with their butts... The snow!!! Now? On MY bark-time field? Wàff! It's Xmas, there's the snow... rich people goes skiing to have some legs broken, just to make laugh other less rich people... AND I CAN'T FIND all the precious things I hid in all these years, cautiously digging here and there out of sight!!! Blast! And it's so cold!! If I wanted a wolflike life, I'd be in Transylvania... not here, two steps from Sahara!!! Still it's snowing!!! Wàff!! I'll go home tryin' to break some balls of the xmas tree... meanwhile askin' to the dog in the crib: HOW THE F^ç% HE'LL FIND HIS BONES UNDER THE SNOW AFTER THE CHRISTY KID'S BORN!!!... Oh, perhaps he hopes in some xmas miracle, who knows? Me? I'll ask some new bones to my deranged human pet! Till then... bark loud and aloooouuuuha!!

THIS MY PLACE, YA GREENY!!!

A lot of ya out there asked me some wisdom about the cohabitation with a new guest in da house! There's more than few advices that I can gift you but I prefer to focus on these basic steps first...So follow me and remember: you're the homelord, you rule over ev'rything in sight in your human pet's house!! However... Step one: stand your ground! As you can notice in the video below, there's no reason to leave your place when some guy reach you!...First try to ignore him/her, then some barkin' shall do the work! I've never left my bed...seen? And the barkin' alerted my human pet who provided himself to remove the uninvited guest!!! Need another example? Please, look up here... In the first click you can see how I managed to rid off of that overgrown lizard which jumped on my bed! (ehy! it's the best place of my house... èhmm, of my human pet's house... and I don't rent it! Sleepin' on it with him each night, it's already enough!!) At first I sniff-snoffed him with a snob attitude, then I whispered in his almost invisible ears to disappear faster than an atheistic mouse in an evangelist church of cats! Step two: as you can see in the second click, I soon made clear that I too have fangs... and Anubi knows if I can use them!!! Since the lizzy-thing showed me some hostility... or his brain was lost in some Cretacic-thinkin'-elaboration of what I said to him, I jumped directly to step three: the "Enough said!Trash-out time!" phase... and I gnawed the sorry motherf§[%&r where it really hurts, as you can notice in the third click! End of the story... and of the lesson! So, remember: new guest? start kickin'ass! And if you can't win the enemy... start destroying something of your human pet barkin' then to the new comer and assuming you've tried to stop him!! Soon you'll see the last kicked out Pelè-style!!Guaranteed!!

WHY DON'T YA MOVE, F§ç[/N' STUPID BALL ?

Hey! My deranged human pet uses to laugh at me for this... BUT I WASN'T WAITIN' FOR THE CURSED BALL TO JUMP AWAY, CLEAR?... I know she ain't alive!! I was just noticing how much dirty and hazardous for my health to keep it in my mouth she was an' that's all! 'n' ya better believe me, ya grass-eaters hairless apes!! Ahh...this only happens in xmas time...when I've less patients and I put my guard down! Hmm...I'd show you some of my human embarassing shots... but it's something I'm too ashamed of!!

YEAH!! THAT'S ME !!

Lately I've received a ton of requests 'bout some old pictures of mine... Now, I'm not inclined in nostalgia, like my deranged human pet, but...what the hell!... I'm so beatiful that I can't hide my grace to my faithful public! So,this is it...two of my oldest pictures! In the first, up here, ya can see me when I was 87 days only...and my deranged human was already "out-for-swimmin'-in-a-forest", if you read me... In the second, clicked one day later, I was makin' my first steps towards my "Teeth of Destruction" way of living...ah,the old good times!